Saturday, June 03, 2006

Confirmation

The generosity of knitters never ceases to amaze me. A HUGE box showed up yesterday full of absolutely beautiful yarns. There were multiple skeins of each yarn (all brand new, I might add). I picked one of each for Show-and-Tell. Thanks so much to Sandy for her generous contribution to our ministry. So many women will be blessed by her generosity.




The timing of Sandy's box of yarn was also a special blessing for me. This has been a particularly difficult week. My daughter is graduating from an "alternative" residential high school in 2 weeks. She had gone through all of the preliminary processing to pursue a career in the military, but at the 11th hour, managed to get herself disqualified. Unfortunately, despite my best efforts for the last 4 years, she has refused to prepare and now the time to leave the nest is bearing down upon her. While I thought she'd made significant progress while away at school for the past several months, I realized this week that things aren't always as they seem.

Although intellectually I know better, I found myself this week questioning the decisions I've made as a mother, asking where I went wrong, what I could have done differently, what more I could have done, how could this be happening... the list goes on. I even questioned my ability to minister to others who are hurting if I can't even minister effectively to my own daughter. At the depths of my despair, I received a revelation that I've done all I can do for my daughter, that now it's time to move out of the way so that God can work in her life. I came to understand that no matter how much I want to protect my daughter and shield her from the hurts of life, that only God can truly protect, comfort and guide her. And until she stops relying on me to clean up her messes and looks instead to God, she's going to keep going around the same mountain. As painful as it is, it's time that she leave the nest, and since she's not willing to accept flying lessons from me, I've got to let her fall so that God can teach her how to fly.

Then, as He always does, God confirmed that this ministry is on the right track. First there was the letter from Francis (see previous post) and now the yarn from Sandy, along with a beautiful note of encouragement about the ministry. What an amazing God we serve.

2 comments:

Shelley said...

That is so great that you got more yarn for your ministry! I scrolled down and read where you had said that the prison chaplain said that you couldn't send the lap afghan to Keith (I think that was his name...). What came to my mind as I read the words the chaplain said to you, was that even though you could not send the afghan to him, the very fact that you obeyed God and made the item, praying your way through it, was an act of obedience. You will be blessed for it. You did what God told you to do, and even though Keith can't have the item, he has had somethiung even more powerful - prayer. And also, another soul will be touched. Francis will be blessed from your afghan as well :o)

Cindy Ericsson said...

That thought that you can't minister to others if you can't effectively minister to your daughter is a lie from hell -- renounce it every time it reappears. As mothers, we are so vulnerable to this area of attack. God knows the timing and means of your daughter's healing, and you will have to trust Him for it.